__29.04.2003 @ 19:02_______
Billabong didnt like bills but he did like bongs. He would take one with him wherever he went and nip off into a corner for a crafty toot on it whenever he could. Unfortunately Billabong was a fireman and noone wants a stoned fireman turning up when your chip pan's burning. Billabong was likely to pay more attention to your fridge and the potential munchies inside than your burning chip pan. Unless the chips weren't too burnt of course.
After the third person had died due to Billabongs negligence he was dismissed from the fire brigade. This hit Billabong hard. He had been firefighting for ten years and no other brigade would take him on now. He had no other skills. What was he supposed to do?
The answer of course was to turn tricks. Billabong found a nice corner not too far from his house, tried to perch himself provocatively on the street sign and waited. Then he waited some more. After that he did some waiting. That he followed up with a bit of a wait.
Finally a car pulled up. A sleek looking black mercedes with blacked out windows. Billabong snapped to attention and resumed his best flirty pose. The driver's window lowered slowly revealing a short fat man. Billabong didn't really know what to say in these situations so decided to let him make the first move.
"do you know anywhere round here i can get a carwash?" the man said in a thick brummy accent.
Billabong was thrown off guard. Was there a coded language to these sorts of transactions? Billabong deicded he would have to look into this. Join a whore's union or something. That was for later, currently he had a job to do.
"It's 30 for a blow job or 70 for full sex. And you pay for the hotel room."
The man in the car looked a little puzzled. "I just asked for directions to a carwash" he managed to splutter out.
"Oh" said Billabong "Right. Well if you take the next left here then the third right there is a garage with one."
"Thanks" said the man regaining his composure. "Get in then."
"um. get in?" asked Billabong.
"Yes. Get In."
Billabong did as he was told. And this is how Billabong turned his first trick. It turned out to be a great learning experience. For example he found out that the dark area behind the carwash was an excellent spot to take his clients to. He also learned to that he should keep a tub of vaseline with him at all times. Over time Billabong even struck up a friendship with the spotty 17 year old boy named Brett who worked the midnight shift in the garage. Billabong would chat to him and tell tales of the life of a male prostitute and Brett would listen patiently in anticipation of Billabong passing his bong over.
One night Billabong was trying to pull his trousers up and pick up the ten pound notes on the floor by his feet at the same time when he noticed something glistening in the corner of his eye. He stood up and turned around. Brett was stood by the side of the garage. Pants round his ankles and his hand round his privates. A ring on his figure was glittering under the security lights. Billabong was shocked. Quickly pulling his pants up he strode off into the night in search of a spot to conduct his business.
Billabong never did return to the 24 hour garage. His future business transactions were conducted in the public park. By the swings to be precise.
Inspiration For This Tale: Fuck Knows
Sensory Input For This Tale: Amon Tobin
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