__22.03.2003 @ 12:45_______
In the thriving metropolis of Bongo City there lived Phlegm Girl. She spent her life defending Bongo City from attack from assorted superfiends using her special powers of phlegm. Whenever an evil arose in the city she was there ready to gob on it and put it back in it's place. All this she did without thanks or payment.
One day Phlegm Girl realised that all her enemies were vanquished. Doctor Puss was locked up, Professer Smeg had died of old age and The Flying Saliva had given up his life of crime to become a gardener. All Phlegm Girl was left with to fight was the usual ragtag bunch of street hoodlums and thugs. This held no challege at all for one so powerful as she. She was bored. She wanted nothing more than for some new evil to arise so she could have a good scrap. She spent her life waiting and waiting and waiting some more but nothing ever happened.
So Phlegm Girl turned to drink. She had always enjoyed a tipple but now she was knocking back the JD like never before. A bottle to wake up, a bottle for 11s, a bottle for breakfast and two for dinner. Unsurprisingly she was a mess. Rumours become to spread throughout the city of her problem and pretty soon she was the butt of numerous jokes in the press. This just made her drink more and pretty soon she was so out of it all of the time that she could no longer produce her trademark phlegm.
Noone seemed to mind though as Bongo City was now a safe happy place. What did the citizens care what their defender did when there was nothing to defend against? Noone attempted to help Phlegm Girl get out of her pit of despair, especially Phlegm Girl herself.
Then one day Bongo City's TV stations were taken over by a mysterious figure whose face was concealed. He announced his intention to take control of the city by force and that he would kill anyone who tried to stop him. The citizen's began to panic. They prayed for Phlegm Girl to come to their aid in this hour of need.
Unfortunately she had died of alcohol poisoning the night before and was of no use at all.
And thus this is how Necro Dave came to take over Bongo city with no problems at all.
The End.
Inspiration For This Tale: Skyler
Sensory Input For This Tale: Total Fuckin' Silence
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