__17.04.2003 @ 20:33_______
Queen Chutterina sat on her throne in the palace. To her left was her king. It was law in her country of Xoxo that the country must be ruled by botha king and queen. When Chutterina's father had died she had yet to be walked down the isle and to ensure her acension to the throne Chutterina had married her pet goldfish Malika. It was purely a marriage of convenience as Chutterina had no feelings for Malika beyond friendship. Malika had been in love with Chutterina for years but had accepted that her heart would never be his. He chose to enjoy Chutterina's friendship for what it was and lived a reasonably happy life. The goldlined fish bowl helped with that.
As Malika was a goldfish he was unable to sign all the official decrees that were put before him and Chutterina. This meant Chutterina signed on his behalf. Only she never ticked the box he wanted her to. Thus this is how Chutterina ensured her iron fist rule of Xoxo endured.
Chutterina had finished putting in place some new laws for the day. Now that Ironing was banned and all citizens had to own a hoover Chutterina felt the land of Xoxo was made just that tiny little bit harder to live in and that satisfied her. Chutterina didn't want her subjects to live in comfort and happiness but neither did she want to the oppress them to the point of an uprising. Instead she took her pleasures from creating problems for her citizens. Disrupting their lives just a little bit here and there. Creating things for them to worry about so they could never be truly happy. She really was very good at it too. She got up from her throne and decided to take a walk around the castle to stretch her legs.
Her first stop off was the master bedroom. She nipped inside and shut the door behind her then walked over to her ancient set of drawers. From her top shelf she removed a small wooden box. Opening this, Chutterina removed a small plastic bag with a white powder in it. She then opened the plastic bag and slided a small straw into it and sniffed quickly. She threw her head back and let out and excited yell.
"Hell Yeah!"
She reutrned everything to its rightful place and left the room, feeling rather peppy.
Her next port of call was her private bar that she had spent quite a bit of taxpayer's money on. It was staffed by a young lad named Ken who was barely out of his teens. He had been fortunate enough to have been born with a strange brain abnormality that meant he knew how to make every cocktail in existence. This combined with years of practicing how to throw bottles about without looking like a total tit had got him the prestigious palace job. Unfortunately Queen Chutterina ventured down to the bar very rarely. This meant most of the time Ken was just sat around with nothing to do. He passed the time by painting pornographic pictures.
Ken was just putting the finishing touches to a strikingly well depicted mongolian clusterfuck when Chutterina entered the room. Ken looked up and upon seeing his queen entered a panic. He scrambled to fix his tie and look something like competent. Unfortunatly as he rushed to the other end of the bar to greet the queen he sent his easel flying and the painting he was working on landed firmly at her feet.
Chutterina looked down. Her eyes focused on a part of the image depicted what could only be described as sodomy. She bent down and picked up the picture to examine it in greater details.
"hmmm. you are a talented lad." she said to Ken. Ken almost pointed out that he was older than Chutterina and calling him lad was a little patronising. But then after all. She was the queen. Patronising is part of the job description. So he let it go and just said "Thankyou maam".
"Make me a tequila sunrise boy. and quick. in fact just make about 6."
Ken did as he was told. Chutterina downed the drinks one after the other, stood up, put the painting under her arm and marched out of the room.
Chutterina's penultimate stop was the castle kitchens where she had her chef rustle up a massive kebab. Chutterina gobbled it down with the speed of lion attacking an antelope but alas not the grace.
And with a belch she set off back to the throne room. She slouched back down into her throne. Look over to her right where Malika's bowl was positioned, picked it up and threw up into it.
Malika was not impressed. The End
Inspiration For This Tale: Chutney
Sensory Input For This Tale: Arab Strap - The Red Thread
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