__2003-03-15 @ 10:28 a.m._______
Alan was a fluffy bunny with a coat of fur as white as snow. He was a fortunate bunny because his father was rich so Alan did not have to work. Instead Alan used his trust fund to pay for his hobbies of skipping, playing patticake and shopping with his girlfriend June.
One day they were walking home from the park after a particularly enjoyable go on the swings when they got lost. They walked round and round for hours without finding a way home. Eventually it got dark and they got scared. Alan wanted to hide but June insisted they keep trying to get home. They were walking down one street when there was a load "Psst" sound. Alan looked around but could not see where it came from. "Psst". There it was again. "Over here" said a disembodied voice and suddenly a green lizardy thing emerged from the shadows.
"Hello Young Bunnies. I am Patrick, I am a gecko and I greet you warmly" he hissed in a lizardy sort of way.
"Um Hi Mr. Patrick. I am Alan and this is my girlfriend June" replied Alan nervously.
"It is rare i see such cute white fluffy bunnies in a neighbourhood like this. I assume you are lost hmmm?"
"Well actually Mr. Patrick we are lost yes. Could you possibly tell us the way to Upper Class Rabbit Street please. We would be most awfully grateful."
"Upper class Rabbit street you say? I have never heard of that before my friends. May I invite you back to my flat to check the A-Z map?"
Alan and June were getting rather desperate now as it was past midnight and they had not brought their jackets so were rather cold. Reluctantly they accompanied Patrick back to his flat.
Patrick's flat was a mess. The floor was littered with empty pizza boxes and beer cans.
"Please excuse the mess my friends and come right in. Can I get you anything? A cup of tea? coffee? some heroin?" asked Patrick.
"um.... did you say heroin?" asked June nervously as it was about time she got a line.
"Yes I did. I am a drug dealer." replied Patrick. "You wouldn't have a problem with that would you?" His tone had suddenly become rather menacing.
"Oh no. of course not." said Alan meekly. "How much is heroin anyway?"
Patrick's tone suddenly sweetened "for you my friends i give you it for free this time. to celebrate our meeting".
"oh well in that case thankyou very much. It would be rude of us to refuse" replied June quickly before Alan could speak.
Patrick cooked up some heroin and they all injected. Alan was rather reticent but gave in to peer pressure and stuck the needle between his toes so his personal bather wouldn't see any track marks and report back to Daddy. He was surprised to find he really enjoyed heroin. In fact he thought it was the best thing ever.
Alan and June slept on Patrick's sofa and in the morning went back out into the world and manage to find someone to direct them home.
The next night they went back to Patrick's and bought some more heroin. And the night after that, and the night after that. Pretty soon they had given up patticake entirely. Because Alan was so very rich he was able to support both his and June's habit without any of that nasty beating old ladies round the head to get cash trouble that so often inflicts heroin addicts.
Alan and June lived happily ever after in their drug blitzed way. The only downside was their sex life suffered a bit.
The End.
Inspiration For This Tale:
Sensory Input For This Tale: Primal Scream - Echo Dek
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